Faded Gray Lines Read online

  Amanda jerked the bottle from my hand. “I think you’ve had enough.”

  “There’s no such thing.” I huffed, plopping back into the stool.

  “Yeah, but there is such a thing as drinking in uniform, and if Emilio catches you doing it, your ass will be fired.”

  I glanced down the at the golden Caliente logo scrawled across my chest. “Oh, shit.”

  “Yes, ‘oh, shit.’ Do you have a change of clothes?”

  I dropped my phone onto the bar and snorted. “No, I didn’t plan on Simba over there getting me plowed.”

  Sarah whipped around, eyes blazing. “It’s Sarah.”

  “She can have my jacket. It’s pretty long. It should cover her.” Every eye turned toward my only ally as he removed his oversized trench coat and held it up with one hand.

  “Why, thank you, kind sir.” I slipped it on, my hands disappearing inside the miles of material and dropped my phone in the pocket. “See?” I said to Amanda, stretching out both arms. “Circle of life.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Throwing her hands in the air, she shook her head at Sarah and turned to walk away. “You’re on your own.”

  I slid my barstool next to my new friend and extended my hand. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Leighton.”

  He nodded and smiled shyly. “Dan.”

  “Dan. Dan. Dan the man. Dan—” I stopped, the familiarity of his smile registering somewhere in my brain. “Wait, don’t I know you from somewhere?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  Sliding off the chair, I failed to realize my feet had disappeared. Luckily, the edge of the bar caught my fall at the last minute. “Oops, watch out for that.” Inspecting him at a closer angle, I wagged my finger in his face. “Yeah, I do know you. You’re—” Then it hit me. The shyness. The quiet amusement. The unkempt brown hair. “Son of a bitch.”

  Swenson.

  The laughter faded from his lips, replaced by a scowl. “Quiet.”

  “Did Alex let you off your leash tonight?”

  “How about you lower your voice?”

  I pushed my finger against his nose. “How about you bend over and kiss my blackmailed ass?”

  Rising to his feet, he grabbed my hand. “It would be unfortunate to have to report this behavior to our mutual friend.”

  We glared at each other, neither of us backing down as a blur of leather and muscle barreled across the bar and grabbed the back of Swenson’s shirt, twisting it into his fist.

  “I suggest you take your hands off the lady if you want to keep your fingers,” Mateo growled.

  Swenson released me, and as he clawed at his throat, I jumped to my feet again. “No, Matt—Mateo, it’s not...this isn’t...fuck. Look, it’s fine.” Mateo’s face darkened, and in a panic, I giggled way too much. “This is Dan the man. Dan let me wear his jacket. Wasn’t that chillvilral...chirraval...wasn’t that nice?”

  He cocked his head. “Are you drunk?”

  “No.”

  Mateo arched an eyebrow.

  “Maybe a little,” I admitted. “It doesn’t matter if I am or I am.” That didn’t sound right, and I thought about correcting myself, but I already forgot what I said. “Whatever, it’s not your problem.”

  He tightened his hold. “He put his hands on you, Leighton.”

  Even in my less than coherent state, a surge of independence flooded my veins. Wrapping my hand around his, I tugged until he released his grip on Swenson. “Matty, Matty, Matty,” I said, patting his cheek. “I can take care of myself. You should see the last guy who put his hands on me.”

  Mateo’s face twisted, and he glared at Swenson. The traumatized agent backed away, his fingers already pressing buttons on his phone before even reaching the door. If I hadn’t been so focused on watching him leave, I would’ve seen what was coming. Instead, I squealed as Mateo bent down and tossed me over his shoulder.

  “Put me down,” I yelled, kicking my feet. “I object!”

  He slapped my ass. “You’re overruled.”

  “You’re so bossy,” I ranted, all the blood rushing to my head.

  He didn’t bother to answer as he stalked toward the door. I let out a frustrated scream and pounded my fists against his back. My assault did nothing but cause him to burst into laughter.

  “What the hell are you laughing at? This isn’t funny!”

  He pushed the door open with one hand and a cool gust of air hit my back. “You. Me. Us. This whole scene,” he mused. “It’s like the first night we met.”

  He carried me the rest of the way to the Tahoe in silence. Memories flashed through my mind—snapshots of one of the worst and best nights of my life.

  After gently settling me into the passenger’s seat, Mateo leaned over me to buckle my seatbelt, and it hit me again. Caramelized leather. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as it enflamed every possible emotion. Love. Lust. Sorrow. Regret. There was nothing like Mateo’s scent. It was crystalized warmth.

  The seatbelt clicked into place, but he didn’t move. I opened my eyes to find a familiar look in his. It smoldered with an intoxicating heat a hundred times more potent than the alcohol flowing through my veins.

  “Mateo...” I moaned his name, and his eyes cleared as if my voice shattered a spell.

  “Safety first. Can’t be too careful.” Giving the shoulder harness a firm tug, he backed out of the truck without another word.

  Ten minutes later, I broke the awkward silence. “I didn’t ask for a white knight, you know.”

  “No? Well, good thing I’m not one.”

  “I can’t believe you just picked me up and carried me out of there.”

  “Why not? It’s not like it’s the first time,” he said, tossing a smirk over his shoulder. “Only, you were sober and modest back then.”

  I tried holding onto my anger, but once I looked down at the slutty-looking uniform peeking out from under the ridiculously large trench coat, I laughed. “It’s no orange party dress, that’s for sure.”

  “Yellow.”

  “Huh?”

  “Your dress was yellow,” he mused, changing lanes.

  “You remember the color of my dress?”

  He nodded. “I remember everything about that night, Leighton. You looked like a fallen angel. I’d always believed in hell, but you made me believe heaven existed too.”

  His confession unleashed a part of myself I’d long locked away. In a few words, he’d ripped down my walls and shattered my self-control.

  If he thought I was an angel, I might as well show him just how far I’d fallen.

  “Pull over,” I ordered, unbuckling my seatbelt and tearing off the trench coat.

  A panicked look crossed his face, and he jerked the wheel, turning the Tahoe into an abandoned parking lot. Slamming the gear shift into park, he unfastened his own seatbelt. “Fuck, if you’re going to throw up, make sure you...what the hell?”

  Before I could change my mind, I crawled over the console into his lap and slammed my lips against his. Catching him mid-sentence, he hardly had a moment to react before I pushed my tongue inside, weaving my fingers in his long hair.

  At first, Mateo was unresponsive, but the minute I circled the tip of my tongue around his, he let out a growl so low and primitive, I wasn’t sure if he was about to kiss me or kill me. I blinked, and he attacked, grabbing the sides of my face and deepening an already frantic kiss.

  Back up.

  My surge of seduction had run its course. Although I started this, I was no longer in control, and I couldn’t have that.

  Time to redirect.

  Releasing his hair, I braced my palms on the headrest, brushing kisses against the outside of his ear. “Did you have any remorse the first time you killed someone?”

  “No,” he groaned. “Remorse is a useless emotion. Kill or be killed—that’s the basic law of my world, Leighton. Life is expendable. No one’s an exception.”

  Shifting back a little, I caught his eye. “Want to know a secret?�
�

  “Fuuuck.” Gritting his teeth, he nodded, the added pressure on his erection causing it to throb.

  This is crazy. This is the alcohol talking. Don’t say another word.

  Leaning in, I whispered, “I think I agree.”

  Shock flickered in his eyes then quickly faded into darkness. “Let me ask you a question,” he coaxed, rubbing a finger against the tight denim between my legs. “Did you ever wonder what it would’ve been like?”

  I whimpered, grinding against his hand. “What?”

  “If things had been different. If we’d met that night and left town, I’d have been the only one, Star. The first and the last.”

  His lips claimed mine in a possessive kiss, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed him to feel as lust-drunk as I did. Reaching between us, I cupped him, stroking his length through the confines of his pants. He let out a hiss and bucked his hips. Emboldened by his response, I released the button on his jeans and pulled down the zipper, his cock springing free from the opening in his boxers. Glancing down at how hard he was, I bit my lip to keep from groaning.

  I feathered my fingers down his shaft, and he grabbed my wrist, stilling my movement. “Dios mío,” he groaned, closing his eyes. “¿Estás tratando de matarme?”

  “I am not trying to kill you,” I huffed.

  He opened one eye. “You know Spanish now?”

  “I know a lot of things now.”

  The restraint he’d held onto broke in a flurry of movement. Fisting my hair, he tilted my head back. “Be sure,” he said, his voice thick with desire. “Because once I touch you, I won’t stop.” Giving my hair a firm yank, he exposed my neck and swept his lips down my throat, his goatee brushing my skin.

  Explosions detonated in my head as he pushed me toward the edge. “Oh, God, don’t you dare stop this time,” I gasped.

  My words were his undoing. He reached over and grabbed the seat release, sending us tipping backward. I didn’t have a chance to protest. By the time I opened my mouth, he’d already flipped me around and had me underneath him, his tongue devastating me as his hands tore at my shorts. Mateo’s kisses were like a drug, and I’d become so high on him, I didn’t realize I was naked from the waist down until his skilled fingers found me again, this time without barriers.

  Parting my folds, he slid one inside. “You’re drenched for me, mi amor.”

  I moaned a response, the sound filling the silent car.

  “Sí, tell me how much you want me.” He pumped his finger, and I grabbed the headrest, arching my back with a shudder. I was close—one push and I’d tumble over the cliff.

  “I want you,” I begged. “Please, Matty...” As his name crossed my lips, I came so hard I thought I stopped breathing for a minute. Once I found my voice, I cursed, shaking and dazed with desire.

  “Look at me,” he ordered. Opening my eyes, I found him poised above me licking his fingers with a lethal glint in his eyes. “You taste as sweet as I remember. I wonder if you feel just as sweet too.”

  “Oh, God...”

  “Do you remember our first time, Star?” he asked, wedging himself between my thighs. “You were a virgin and so tight you made me come harder than I’ve ever come in my life. I wonder if you can do it again?”

  His wicked words made me delirious. “For God’s sake, will you just fuck me?”

  A violent look passed over his face. Hooking a leg around each arm, he forced my vulnerability while looming over me like a phoenix rising from the ashes of our combined destruction. “Do you know what else I remember about that night?”

  Unable to speak, I shook my head.

  “I remember how loud you screamed.” His nostrils flared, and he slammed into me with one deep thrust until I did just what he wanted.

  I screamed.

  His possession was rough, and my cries pierced the night as he pulled out and drove right back in. Fuck, I’d forgotten how huge he was.

  “That’s it,” he growled, his hips driving into me with a chaotic pace. “That’s the scream I remember. Give me everything that’s mine.”

  I couldn’t have stopped the wave from crashing down on me even if I’d tried. I was too far gone, and he was buried too deep, his thrusts too punishing. I was paying for a sin he thought I committed, but by the time I trembled through another orgasm, I didn’t give a damn.

  “Fuck!” Mateo ground his pelvis against mine as his cock jerked inside me.

  At first, neither of us moved; we were too preoccupied with trying to catch our breath. Finally, I released my death grip on the back of the seat, and Mateo released his on the back of my legs.

  Tell me you love me.

  We were still joined when he froze. “Shit, Leighton, are you on birth control?”

  “No.”

  Tell me you love me.

  “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, pulling out and tucking himself back into his pants. Kneeling on the end of the seat, he palmed his forehead. “I never...I mean, I always use a condom. You don’t have to worry...Christ, I’m such a fucking idiot. Are we in the danger zone?”

  I scrunched my eyebrows together. “The danger zone?”

  “Your cycle,” he said, retrieving my shorts and panties from the floorboard and handing them to me. “Is there a threat?”

  “Oh, no.” My entire body stiffened. “There’s no threat.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” I sighed. “There’s no threat because I can’t get pregnant.” I didn’t want to have this conversation sitting half-naked in a parking lot, but I could see he wasn’t going to let it go. Gritting my teeth, I choked out the truth. “I had some complications a few years ago and lost my ovaries. It’s fine.”

  He tossed his head back, blowing all the air out of his lungs in relief. “Oh, thank God. We dodged a bullet then.”

  A familiar ache pierced my chest, but I hid it behind a familiar fake smile. “Yeah. Yeah, we sure did.”

  Eighteen

  Leighton

  Oh, my head.

  Bright sunlight poured through the broken blinds when I opened my eyes the next morning. Rolling over, I blinked it away and stretched while running a hand through my matted hair. I was never much of a drinker, and now I remembered why.

  “Fuck me,” I groaned.

  A blast of air hit my bare legs as someone jerked the blankets down, and a rough hand slid down my naked ass from behind. “Well, I assumed you got enough after the first four times, but if you’re offering, I’m sure as hell not turning it down.” Mateo sank his teeth into my shoulder and dipped his fingers in between my legs.

  My back arched, pushing against his hand for more. I hated my body for responding so eagerly to his touch, but in one night, I’d become hopelessly addicted, consumed with wanting him. Craving what little he gave me and figuring out how to bargain for more.

  Not that he’d left me unsatisfied last night. Quite the opposite, actually.

  After what happened in the parking lot, I should’ve made him take me to Brody’s apartment. Instead, I said nothing when he drove right past the exit. I knew where we were headed, and I didn’t care. As much as I wanted to tell myself I wouldn’t allow anything like that to happen again, it was pointless. Heat already pooled low in my stomach at the thought of being with him again. I could spout all the sanctimonious bullshit I wanted. It wouldn’t change the fact I had no restraint when it came to him.

  So even after all my pep talks and empty promises to myself, we barely made it through the door before Mateo had me bent over the couch, fucking me like a savage from behind. Eventually, we made it to the bedroom, where he took me two more times. Once on the dresser and then again breaking the blinds when he shoved my back against the window.

  He always was a bit of an exhibitionist.

  “I think we should slow down,” I choked out, trying to regain some sanity.

  “I told you last night to be sure because once I touched you, I wouldn’t stop.” Adding a second finger, he slowly pumped
them, drawing a tortured groan from my throat. “You should know I don’t make idle threats, Leighton.”

  And the way he commanded my body proved it.

  He also told me last night we’d dodged a bullet. The words still stung, but I shut my mind off, pushing any feeling but the one between my legs out of my head. It was fine. I’d let down my defenses last night and said things I shouldn’t have as well. I could do this. For the time I had left in Houston, I could have meaningless sex with a man who knew my body better than anyone. I could accept it for the insignificant act it was.

  Which would’ve been fine. If it were insignificant.

  Mateo’s full lips curved into an immoral smile against my shoulder. “Roll over.”

  “No,” I said, fisting the sheets to keep myself from giving in and sliding underneath him. “Just like this.” Realizing how cold I sounded, I let go of the sheet with one arm and draped it behind me, running my fingers through his tousled hair. “Please.”

  Hooking his arm around my top leg, he hitched it up and positioned himself at my entrance. “‘Please.’ Yeah, I could get used to that. Say it again.”

  “Please.” The word came out sounding more like a prayer than a request. Maybe it was. A prayer for strength. For vindication.

  He tightened his hold, his hips shifting. “Déjame entrar, Leighton.”

  He didn’t have to tell me to let him in. I already had. That was the problem.

  My emotions went into overdrive, causing my heart to pound and my ears to ring.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. Hold on a minute.”

  I was confused and more than heated when Mateo’s warmth left me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him roll over and grab his ringing cell phone from his nightstand.

  Okay, so the ringing wasn’t in my ears.

  “This better be fucking important,” he growled. I pulled the sheet over me as I watched the lover in him disappear and the cartel underboss take over. “You did? Only one? What’s his name? Look, I can’t talk right now. No, don’t fucking text it to me. Are you stupid? Hold on, I’ll write it down.” Looking over his shoulder, Mateo made the signal for a pen.